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 11-04-2008, 10:36 Post: 157649
kwschumm



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

I badly needed a laugh and then received this and it had me rolling in laughter. It may not be true but the many misspelled words lend credibility to story, given the intelligence of most college students these days.

RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:

This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students:

In-class assignment for Wednesday: Tandem Story. Each person will pair off with the person sitting next to them. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on until both people agree a conclusion has been reached. The story must be coherent, and each paragraph relevant to the prior one.
-------------------------------------------
Rebecca and Gary
English 144A
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who had once said in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Team Captain Carl Harris was leading his patrol squadron into orbit over Skylon 4. Carl had more important things to think about than the neuroses of that air-headed asthmatic woman named Laurie who, after one sweaty night over three months ago, was still desperately clinging to an illusion of a relationship she had fabricated in her unbalanced mind. "Alpha Tango One to Geostation One-Niner-Three", he said into his subspace communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance..." But before he could sign off a bluish plasma beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit threw him out of his seat and into the cockpit control panel.

He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian battleship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted, bleeding-heart peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the U.N. had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empire who was determined to enslave the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet and nothing to stop them. They swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in a submarine off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 15 million other Americans. He slammed his fist on the conference table. "I KNEW this would happen! I am exercising my executive privledge to annul that treaty
effective IMMEADIATELY! Ready the nukes, we're gonna blow those bastards out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

*******.

*****.







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 11-04-2008, 14:40 Post: 157661
kthompson



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Sadly it is not made up..just it will not be aliens from other planets but from other countries who will know they are safe to attack as Joe Biden saying Obama will be tested and we will not believe he made the right decision.






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 11-05-2008, 14:19 Post: 157683
yooperpete



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Atleast Ellen Degenerate is no longer legally married!






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 11-05-2008, 18:38 Post: 157691
cutter



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Yea, he will probably surrender to Afghanistan.

Hopefully the damage will be reversible for our grandkids sake.

God Bless America, real change can only be made by the people. Government does not live our lives for us.






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 11-05-2008, 21:58 Post: 157695
kwschumm



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

As a moderator I want to temper my criticism, but my plans are to become more prepared, self-sufficient and will likely cash in a big chunk of our 401k and IRA plans in anticipation of a Argentina-like action (in response to economic plans written by the new administrations economic advisers).






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 11-06-2008, 08:31 Post: 157699
kthompson



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

There are some experts who say much of the money leaving the stock market was over this fear and moving to where it would be safe. If that is true that will mean less money to be taxed and also less for business. Neither helps the economy.

I think it was before Obama was a name I even knew there was a thread here on some of this very topic on steps to protect our family.

No doubt we must be alert and involved. Wonder what will happen when Obama is not able or willing to do what was either promised or preceive owed to some support group?

Keep the faith..God (the I AM) has still bless us greatly!! kt






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 11-09-2008, 12:52 Post: 157760
yooperpete



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Isn't it odd that oil prices have fallen in half with little discussion in the news media, likewise little coverage of the wars exists and nothing at all is being said about the destruction of Galvaston, TX now that the liberals have their superhero elect going to DC. I sometimes feel that we common Americans have been manipulated for the past 8 years and it wasn't by Repulicans. It seems the news media only wants to report bad things!






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 11-09-2008, 14:30 Post: 157763
hardwood

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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Yoper; Have you ever had any doubt's of the news media being controlled by the corporations who pay the advetising bills?






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 11-10-2008, 19:38 Post: 157802
Chief



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Quote:
Originally Posted by kwschumm | view 157695
As a moderator I want to temper my criticism, but my plans are to become more prepared, self-sufficient and will likely cash in a big chunk of our 401k and IRA plans in anticipation of a Argentina-like action (in response to economic plans written by the new administrations economic advisers).



Ken and others........if you want a daily read that is more in line with reality, self sufficiency, and preparedness; may I suggest the below website.






Link:   Survival Blog 

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 11-10-2008, 19:41 Post: 157803
Chief



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 Something to lighten election day doom and gloom

Another good forum for self sufficiency and living the life style is Backwoods Home Magazine's forum. I believe Cutter frequents this website as do I.






Link:   Backwood Home Magazine 

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