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 12-12-2004, 18:58 Post: 102142
Archdean

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  sick and tired

We are sick and tired of hearing redneck jokes about people in the
South.

We are actually extremely smart and challenge any so-called smart
Yankee to take this exam administered by the Georgia Tech Engineering
Department:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
will
support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet
Chevelle or a '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required
to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot
is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with
a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow
with
an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have
enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.
The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by
the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?






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 12-16-2004, 13:05 Post: 102354
Iowafun

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  sick and tired

Gotta love that southern humor. Be careful if you sent it to your cousin/sister/wife (all the same person?) as they may not git it.






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 12-16-2004, 16:43 Post: 102364
kubotachick



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  sick and tired

kind of makes you value ALL your teeth even more...

and i thought it was a serious questionarre






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 12-16-2004, 16:56 Post: 102368
Archdean

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  sick and tired

Sure you did KC!! Enjoy your trip tp "Mexico"






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 12-16-2004, 17:38 Post: 102373
kubotachick



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Not sure how different mexico is than the south...i'm thinking the tooth situation might be similar...

11 more days until i'm out....you'll have to put up with me for a little while longer






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 12-16-2004, 21:26 Post: 102390
DRankin



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  sick and tired

I once heard that the toothbrush must have been invented in Alaska.

If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush....






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 12-16-2004, 21:50 Post: 102394
BrendonN



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  sick and tired

If the hapless woodcutter in question #4 has a chainsaw that is only running at 2700rpm, there would be a lot of time to work on those Budweisers. Then again, after four or five, it might be good for him to have a saw this meager. Less likely to remove limbs off of self instead of just the trees.






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 12-16-2004, 22:00 Post: 102397
denwood



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  sick and tired

You better hope "thingy" isn't reading this or you are all in for it.






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 12-16-2004, 22:10 Post: 102399
Archdean

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BrendonN,
If it weren't for The Kansas 6 tree National Forest which migrates to my front yard on Grand Lake in NE Oklahoma with yearly regularity I wouldn't need a chainsaw!!!






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 12-17-2004, 05:52 Post: 102409
BrendonN



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Archdean, that is probably true! If it weren't for imported hedge trees (osage orange), it would be pretty barren. Not as treeless here in central KS though as out west. (Course I wouldn't want to cut even one osage orange without a good chainsaw!)
When I was in college here in KS my roommate was from PA and Dodge City was as far west as he had ever been. He thought it was really barren. One Thanskgiving he went to my home in SE Colorado with me. We drove a ways north of my parents home out onto the prairie and literally could see for miles in all directions and the tallest vegetation in sight was waist high. Then he really knew what barren was!






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