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Forums > Active Threads > General Tractor Discussions > Everything and Anything

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Helping our survivors

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kthompson
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5223 South Carolina
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2007-01-11          138664


It is something that most of us if not all will face one day and it dispersing our parents property when they pass away. It is something our children will also face. It is a time many families end up with hurt feelings and splits when families are needed the most.

What suggestions do you have to make this work well?


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Murf
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 7152 Toronto Area, Ontario, Canada
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2007-01-11          138666


Discussion and information, no other way about it.

In our family, being farmers forever, death is something that is always openly considered, nobody is under the illusion that they will live forever. Everyone knows everyone elses wishes. Parents make it clear to children and others who is to get what. No uncertainty leaves little room for argueing or hard feelings.

It's worked for many generations in our family. Who has other ideas or suggestions?

Best of luck. ....

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yooperpete
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1413 Northern Michigan
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2007-01-11          138674


These are changing times. I came from farming roots where generations always passed on property and farming operations. I'm the first generation non-farmer but the first generation college grad. Many of this generation, like myself have been forced to leave the farm life. Some of us have sentimental values on these assets while others don't.

As Murf has said, talking things over before something happens is important! All too often though, this can cause problems as well. The situation must be handled delicately. Many elders think the youngin's are only interested in the estate. If you bring these subjects up to other family members, it may sound like you want more than your share and are greedy.

My sister and I were fortunate in coming to agreements on dividing assests after the fact. I had sentimental attachment to some things and she didn't. Anyway we sold off one farm, kept another for me along with the homestead that we broke out from the other farm, and she got cash. This year I'm celebrating the sesquicentennial (150 year) anniversary on the homestead (what is left of the original farm). After it is all said and done, it may have been more hassle than it was worth, especially knowing that my daughter isn't interested in any of it.
....

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Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 955 Central Iowa
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2007-01-11          138680


It's never easy. My in-laws are going through a tough time with it. The mother finally passed (alzheimers) and so it's time for the estate. The father had clearly laid out his wishes and his thoughts. BUT the one sister who is the executer is keeping everything hush-hush and not letting anyone see any documents. So a brother that was supposed to buy the farm per the father's wishes is now trying to get money for taking care of the mother for the last 2 years. He insisted on taking care of the mother over the objections of the other kids.

Basically it's a real mess now with many hurt feelings that will probably never mend. It's a problem even when your wishes are clearly spelled out if the executor doesn't follow them like in this case. I feel that family is forever torn apart and now lawyers may get involved all because of one or two people. ....

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dkheckmanl
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 134 Middleton, ID
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2007-01-11          138692


I think having a will is a plus in most cases. MY Mother did not have because her attorney/friend told her she did not need one since every thing would go to my brother and me. She did put the farm in our names and sold it before she died. My brother had power of attorney and took care of her financial paperwork until she died. He took his time taking care of and dividing up her assets after she died. I had a good idea of all her assets so I think he gave me my share. The only problem was he came down with cancer and died before he had every thing settled. Left me kind of holding the bag. She died in 01 and just got something the other day from the IRS regarding her.
Also had an aunt and uncle die with out wills and no kids. That left some hard feelings in the family. ....

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