sick and tired
Archdean
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 279 Oklahoma Pics |
2004-12-12 102142
We are sick and tired of hearing redneck jokes about people in the
South.
We are actually extremely smart and challenge any so-called smart
Yankee to take this exam administered by the Georgia Tech Engineering
Department:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
will
support a 10-pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet
Chevelle or a '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required
to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot
is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with
a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow
with
an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have
enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.
The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by
the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
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sick and tired
Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa Pics |
2004-12-16 102354
Gotta love that southern humor. Be careful if you sent it to your cousin/sister/wife (all the same person?) as they may not git it. ....
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sick and tired
kubotachick
Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 116 illinois/wisconsin |
2004-12-16 102364
kind of makes you value ALL your teeth even more...
and i thought it was a serious questionarre ....
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sick and tired
Archdean
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 279 Oklahoma Pics |
2004-12-16 102368
Sure you did KC!! Enjoy your trip tp "Mexico" ....
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sick and tired
kubotachick
Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 116 illinois/wisconsin |
2004-12-16 102373
Not sure how different mexico is than the south...i'm thinking the tooth situation might be similar...
11 more days until i'm out....you'll have to put up with me for a little while longer ....
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sick and tired
DRankin
Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 5116 Northern Nevada Pics |
2004-12-16 102390
I once heard that the toothbrush must have been invented in Alaska.
If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.... ....
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sick and tired
BrendonN
Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 89 Central Kansas |
2004-12-16 102394
If the hapless woodcutter in question #4 has a chainsaw that is only running at 2700rpm, there would be a lot of time to work on those Budweisers. Then again, after four or five, it might be good for him to have a saw this meager. Less likely to remove limbs off of self instead of just the trees. ....
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sick and tired
denwood
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 542 Quarryville PA |
2004-12-16 102397
You better hope "thingy" isn't reading this or you are all in for it. ....
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sick and tired
Archdean
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 279 Oklahoma Pics |
2004-12-16 102399
BrendonN,
If it weren't for The Kansas 6 tree National Forest which migrates to my front yard on Grand Lake in NE Oklahoma with yearly regularity I wouldn't need a chainsaw!!! ....
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sick and tired
BrendonN
Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 89 Central Kansas |
2004-12-17 102409
Archdean, that is probably true! If it weren't for imported hedge trees (osage orange), it would be pretty barren. Not as treeless here in central KS though as out west. (Course I wouldn't want to cut even one osage orange without a good chainsaw!)
When I was in college here in KS my roommate was from PA and Dodge City was as far west as he had ever been. He thought it was really barren. One Thanskgiving he went to my home in SE Colorado with me. We drove a ways north of my parents home out onto the prairie and literally could see for miles in all directions and the tallest vegetation in sight was waist high. Then he really knew what barren was! ....
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sick and tired
kyvette
Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 194 Central Kentucky Pics |
2004-12-17 102411
Kubotachick, where in Mexico are you going? Is this your first visit there? I have been to Cancun (too many college kids), Cozumel (beautiful water), and several places on the west coast known as the Mexican Rivera. We really liked Cabo San Lucas. The only place I don't like is Acapulco, too many beggars and very aggressive, including the taxi drivers. Dave ....
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sick and tired
Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa Pics |
2004-12-17 102412
KC, Mexico should be similar to the south. You won't be able to understand anything they say!
I still laugh about that stop my buddy and I made in Alabama when we were lost. We got directions, walked out of the gas station, looked at eat other and asked "Did you understand that?" We both said "nope." ....
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sick and tired
kubotachick
Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 116 illinois/wisconsin |
2004-12-18 102488
i learned "donde esta me equipaje (where's my luggage) And "necisito algo para tomar" (i need something to drink)
I should do fine (if my ride picks me up from the airport) ....
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sick and tired
grassgod
Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 566 ct Pics |
2004-12-18 102491
Dont forget to add porfavor to that : ) (PLEASE) ....
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sick and tired
Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa Pics |
2004-12-18 102499
KC, I think you got the priority wrong on those phrases you learned. The second one is the more important one! ....
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