Go BottomThe Tractorpoint Joke Thread
 | AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida 
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2018-02-13 197508
Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:
Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..
...just five more minutes.
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-02-13 197509
This new thesaurus I bought is the worst..
Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-02-13 197510
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?" ....
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 | minimac
Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 105
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2018-02-14 197511
Thanks Andy
Here are two from now gone Allen and Rossi.
Allen: My wifes a twin
Rossi: How do you tell them apart?
Allen: Her brothers taller
Allen: I do everything my wife tells me.
Rossi: You mean if she told you to jump
off the roof of this hotel you would?
Allen: Not again. ....
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 | Murf
Join Date: Dec 1999 Posts: 7249 Toronto Area, Ontario, Canada 
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2018-02-20 197527
A famous dog trainer is being interviewed by a reporter, the reporter is amazed at the abilities of the dog
The reporter asks is there ANYTHING you cannot teach this dog to do?
The trainer replies Dance. It seems he has 2 left feet.ť ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-02-21 197529
Hahaha! Just keep 'em coming, fellas!
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
"P"
Without it, they'd be irate. ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-02-21 197530
My friend set me up on a date. He told me she constantly make "Shrek" references. I was pretty sceptical..
But then I saw her face.. ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-02-21 197531
Metallica and Nonmetallica should come together..
To form an ionic band. ....
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 | yocsr1
Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 182 Terre Haute, Indiana
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2018-02-21 197537
If you buy half a chicken does that mean your secretly sharing a meal with someone else? ....
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| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
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2018-02-25 197540
I started the rum diet, works great, lost three days already. ....
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| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
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2018-02-25 197541
Know Whats a bad day for a dung beetle?
....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-03-09 197561
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Quote:
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What would that be, Woodie? :) ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-03-09 197562
Why don't vegans take risks?
Because their life could be at steak. ....
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| AndyDaniels
Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 15 Tampa, Florida
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2018-03-09 197563
What do you call a Mexican that is only 4’6”?
Paragraph. He is too short to be an essay. ....
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| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
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2018-03-09 197564
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Quote:
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"No s***" ;-) ....
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 | DennisCTB
Join Date: Nov 1998 Posts: 2710 NorthWest NJ
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2018-03-11 197571
Billboard in front of church:
If You Are Waiting For A Sign That You Ought To Be Going To Church!
This Is It. ....
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| Murf
Join Date: Dec 1999 Posts: 7249 Toronto Area, Ontario, Canada
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2018-03-11 197574
An old fella goes to the doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks about all the usual potential issues and gets favourable answers to all of them. In winding up the visit the doctor asks the old codger if he’s having any issues.
He replies “Yes, I have a little problem with my bowel movements.”
“Oh, too loose or constipation?” asks the doctor.
“Neither, just right, and at almost exactly 8am every morning.” he replies.
“So then what’s the problem? People half your age would kill to be that regular.” the doctor asks.
“I rarely wake up before 9am.” he replies. ....
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| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
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2018-03-11 197575
Just heard playing Euchre has been banned... reason...can't call trump anymore.
---------
Just passing them on as i hear'em ....
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