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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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chuckles
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 77 Eastern PA
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2013-10-12          188118


Whenever I hear this Gospel I cannot help but but feel empathy for the older son who spent his life in support of his father. My brother has a son who has always been lazy, disinterested in his studies, partying, smoking pot ....bad grades... So my brother buys him a beautiful cars at 16 years old, allows him to spend his Dads money as he refuses to get a job on customizations on his car. At 17 my brother lets him sell the car he has to trade for a muscle car. All of this at the father s expense. All the while he has been reckless with the cars causing damage by driving too fast.

When he graduates High School in New England, his grades are so weak that he should really get a job and pay his own way through Community College. But instead my brother searches for a Community College that has on campus housing in Florida and goes through great expense. I guess we love our kids regardless of how disrepectful they can be.

Now my son is much the same as my brothers, he is lazy, gets bad grades in school, drinks, smokes pot, may be doing other drugs as well... I will not give him a car or let him drive anything I own. I told him as long as he is using he will get no money for Community College. He will have to get a job if he needs cash. Well last week he got a job. But he thinks life is not worth living if he cannot have pot, etc..

So while working is better than laying around the house, the cash may be used for drugs...

My brother thinks I am too tough on my son, calls me Stalin.

I guess there is no right answer..

Luke 15:11-32
New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: There was a man who had two sons.

12 The younger one said to his father, Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them.

13 Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 When he came to his senses, he said, How many of my father s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.

20 So he got up and went to his father.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 The son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

22 But the father said to his servants, Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let s have a feast and celebrate.

24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.

25 Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.

26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.

27 Your brother has come, he replied, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.

28 The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.

29 But he answered his father, Look! All these years I ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!


31 My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.


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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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kthompson
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5219 South Carolina
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2013-10-15          188135


Being a parent is not easy to do the job right. A misconception if we are not called to be their friend but their parent. It is easy to be a friend but a parent has to train and lay down the law when needed. No special insight from this Daddy but it seems you are on the correct path. Not only my understanding of the Bible but also from my age and watching many children grow and some even matured. LOL

My children are older and one of the joys this dad has had has been my oldest mostly coming back to tell me Daddy, I now understand so and so. Very proud of my two girls. Great Christians Moms themselves.

No doubt you have talked with your son in very open heart conversation how you love him and are concerned for him. They do listen even when we wish there were not.

Praying for you and your son. KT

....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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hardwood
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3583 iowa
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2013-10-19          188154


I can't add a lot to what Ken has already said. After raising five kids we had to learn as we went, it seemed there was always one youngster or the other with a problem. Thankfully none of the problems ever involved drugs or jail time, 90% of the time it was a money problem from over extending the too easy credit card terms. I never got too concerned about the kids having a few beers with friends, with everyone getting home safely. But they knew from the time they were old enough to understand their own process of reasoning, to judge right from wrong what would be tolerated and what would not. Hard liquor, any kind of drugs, any criminal activity were not going to be tolerated by the Mrs. or I period, you would be out the door.
We must of somehow put a bit of fear in them as none of them got thrown out.

All five are well on their own now, the oldest is 51 and the youngest is 40, so now we worry about our grandkids. Some weren't raised as we would have, the parents rules are a bit to relaxed, but so far things are going pretty smooth. We don't stick our noses in, we did once and the consequences were not good, so we learned to just shut up and enjoy having them around.

FRank. ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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DennisCTB
Join Date: Nov 1998
Posts: 2644 NorthWest NJ
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2013-10-25          188176


For some reason I thought of the Neil Youngs "Teach Your Children Well" when I read this post. I had my own share of baggage when I was a teen, I am glad I made it through. At some point we have to take the training wheels off our kids and hope that some of our guidance helps them take their first flight out of the family nest as they exit their teenage years. ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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kthompson
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5219 South Carolina
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2013-10-25          188184


A thought that I had in raising our children was using a knife. It would be a dumb deal to hand a sharp knife to a two year old. It would also be dumb to be twenty and your parents still cut your meat. Somewhere in there you train, you show, you set example, you explain and sadly you bandage their nicks but trust nicks is it and no limbs removed.

Our oldest (we have two girls) is who has talked with me the most on our raising them as she told me one day her co workers asked her to go to a bar and she told them "MY DADDY WOULD KILL ME". They asked her on that and she said he never told me I could not drink, but I knew it by his stand. Our children learn more by watching than all we can ever tell them. I think the telling helps understand the details or the reasoning and do think it is very important. I also think it is very good to do what Frank said, sit and listen and let them explain themselves. Often when they try to they find they knew the answer just needed a sounding board which we all do from time to time. Oh, they need to be loved and know it. Even Ole Frank wants to hear "I love you". That does not mean I approve or like but I care about YOU, not things. Something for men we seem to want to run from. ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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hardwood
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3583 iowa
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2013-10-26          188189


The title of this thread and the gospel reading sperak of the "Prodical Son", I have to kind of chuckle a bit.
Our three sons were a joy to raise, but the two daughters, eleven years age difference were a bit more of a challenge.
I'm sure all parents have heard this statement. "Mom, girl one had this how come I girl two don't?". At the risk of being flogged by any lady Tractor Pointers, the boys never seemed to care what boy one, boy two, or three had. But those two girls sure did. Ok, I've probably said way too much already so I'll quit with that.

Frank. ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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kthompson
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5219 South Carolina
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2013-10-28          188211


Frank, we have two girls and each like to say they are our favorite one. I did tell our youngest she was beneficiary of her older sister's action in how we viewed certain things. Good or bad might add. kt
....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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crunch
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 264 Niagara County, NY
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2013-12-06          188412


My son slept all day during his teen years, spent his waking hours on the computer playing killing games, did not help me much around the house, smoked lots of pot in high school and college.

After college he joined the army, got chosen for the 21 gun salute team at arlington national cemetery, became sargeant, married, has a little daughter. Now he gets up on time, tells us he loves us, and takes care of his family.

You never know how things will turn out. ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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chuckles
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 77 Eastern PA
TractorPoint Premium Member -- 5 Tractors = Very Frequent Poster  View my Photos  Pics

2013-12-07          188416


Update my brothers son attending coimmunity college in Florida broke up with his HS sweet heart last summer, and now is failing all 5 courses he is taking, he parties smokes pot, drinks, has an Amex from my brother for expenses drives his Mustang GT 5L, lives in the house my brother bought by himself..... no interest in school or work ...

My son continues to research all ways to get high... went to 3 counseling sessions, won't go anymore. Getting bad grades in HS. Reclusive, plays grand theft auto all day. Few positives, continues to work at Subway 12 hrs week. Still not allowed to drive our cars, offered car use if he would quit drugs, no deal. Eats in his room only comes out for food... Wants to get apartment with his drug using friends next year... Oh the joy.

Crunch, did you try to control your son's drug use or just let him have at it. I am not enjoying policing his web activities etc.. Is it better to just let him run his course? ....

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The Prodigal Son and your teenage son

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crunch
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 264 Niagara County, NY
TractorPoint Premium Member -- 5 Tractors = Very Frequent Poster  View my Photos  Pics

2013-12-07          188420


I let it take its course. There was not much I could do to change his attitude. The youth culture now is to rebel against your parents at all costs.

Let him screw up, give him some reminders about what it takes to succeed when you get that rare opportunity to speak to him, and live the way you want him to live. He will use you as his example when he gets older. ....

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