Go BottomDisagreement with Wife
 | retcol
Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 109 Barron,wi 
|
2005-01-08 103802
My wife is really mad at me because I won't go on a trip to Sweden and Norway this summer with her and her sisters and husbands. I have absolutely no interest in going especially for over three weeks. There are a lot of places in the good old "USA" I would rather visit. I was in the Air Force for over 26 years. When we came back from Hawaii in 1981 my wife swore off flying. I have suggested over the years to fly somewhere, but she absolutely refused. However, when her sisters suggest going to the Scandinavian countries she is ready to go. For some reason they think it needs to last over three weeks. It smacks of "Parkinson Law". The trip expands to the time alotted.
Any suggestions as to how I can solve this dilemma? My wife and sisters are very poorly organized and it takes them three times as long to get started and get something done.
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | harvey
Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 1550 Moravia, NY 
 Pics
|
2005-01-08 103803
I am not sure there is a GOOD answer. We have been all over the world also, same travel agent as yours. Currently we do not even have a passport. YEAH! Her and I both agree if we can not drive there we probably do not need to go there.
Good Luck Harvey ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | kwschumm
Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5764 NW Oregon 
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103806
No solution here. We flew from Oregon to Arizona over the holidays to visit family and it was a miserable experience. Security is a joke - they practially strip searched us through security and on the other side were restaurant tables with real knives and forks that anyone could have picked up. It took seven hours for a two hour flight and we were lucky that the weather was good on both ends. We agreed on the flight back that next time we go we would drive. It takes a couple of days each direction but it would be far more enjoyable and relaxing. The next time I have to fly internationally I'll probably go nuts. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
|
2005-01-08 103809
I too am not sure but at times refer to "Mrs Murphy's Law"- "When Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy" :) ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | Chief
Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4299 Southwest MiddleTennessee
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103810
I absolutely REFUSE to fly due to the insane and ridiculous security searches and procedures. I agree.......if I can't drive there.......I ain't going. I flew all over the world for over 20 years in the military. I always carried my pocket knife and leatherman without any questions. Now a tooth pick is questionable. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
|
2005-01-08 103811
Lion- now the're also looking at wristwatches as possible 'bad item' Seems Casio brand is supposedly a favorite brand used by terroists. one model even has a builtin cigertte lighter. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Chief
Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4299 Southwest MiddleTennessee
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103813
I refuse to throw away my God given freedoms in the name of safety. Ben Franklin summed it up nicely when he said ......."Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Sad to say that he also said "When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic." Our society is creating a police state and big brother culture. If we all boycotted the airlines and refused to partake in or lend support to such thinking and measures; we would have a better nation. So far our society and government is doing EXACTLY what the terrorist want and planned for. They are slowly taking away our freedoms and dragging us down to their level. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| brokenarrow
Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1288 Wisconsin
|
2005-01-08 103814
Can you use this for something you really want? Tell her this is the deal, 2 weeks there for the 2 of you and you will let her to stay the other week with sister. You come home and plan the trip you want with or without her.
I am not saying this is the case with you, but I have been seeing this scenario more and more as I get older.
" Woman and man married for many years, kids all get out and woman wants to travel to places the guy dont want to go
to. So they dont. After a few years of woman, seeing her friends going all over the woman divorces her man. Now man has NO money to do what he wanted to do in the first place. Personally, I would do a half and half comprimise, keeping the little lady happy is 85% of the job. IMO. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Chief
Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4299 Southwest MiddleTennessee
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103815
You might try a short airline trip somewhere just to give the Misses a taste of the BS, stress, and aggrivation she will be in for with airline travel now a days. She might change her mind and come to the conclusion that MANY already have which is that it is just NOT worth the hastle. Vacation trips should be fun and relaxing. A nice adventure so to speak.........NOT a cluster (I think you get the idea for the word that goes here). I went through a similar thing like this wife my wife about going to Germany. After she went to visit with her mother there, she swore she would NEVER do it again. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | BillMullens
Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 649 Central West Virginia 
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103835
My wife introduced me to negotiation in our relationship, and it works for us.
But it only works for couples that have some mutual trust and a good relationship anyway.
If there is something that she wants or wants to do, that I could live without, we negotiate what it would take for me to accept it. Same when the situation is reversed. But if there is something that the other person simply can't accept - which may be the case here - then no deals can be made. I would find a "family vacation" type situation pretty hard to take, but if it made her happy, and she made some concessions for me, I'd do it. (For me, this would rate getting AT LEAST one more tractor.)
Good luck,
Bill ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| dklopfenstein
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 125 Southern Indiana
|
2005-01-08 103836
If you expect to keep a marriage relationship intact, both husband and wife need to be willing to give and not only take. Here is what I would say, "I would enjoy going but could we go one week ahead of (or stay a week after) everyone else and enjoy some time together." I would try to leave and return together if possible. (One week with family is usually enough even if everyone gets along very well.) As far as flying...go with a good attitude, bite your tongue, and expect inconvience. That way you will be prepared for the worst and able to be happy if it isn't that bad. Hopefully you can have a good trip...if you don't go, it will be dividing point when marriage should truly be about consistently growing closer. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | Archdean
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 279 Oklahoma
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103837
retcol,
Has she recieved an unknown recent promotion to BG, if not RHIP takes precedence, A reminder is needed perhaps!! ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Chief
Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4299 Southwest MiddleTennessee
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103842
Marriage is freight train that needs continuous TLC and consideration. It has to be a mutual effort to keep the train on the tracks. Derailments are disasterous. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Archdean
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 279 Oklahoma
Pics
|
2005-01-08 103843
"Marriage is freight train that needs continuous TLC and consideration. It has to be a mutual effort to keep the train on the tracks. Derailments are disasterous."
There are times when two people try to maintain separate tracks which puts an intolerable amount of strain on the Engine, Transmission and finally the Differential:
To prevent a derailment a split is not only necessary but essential to prevent damaged equipment as well!!
"Been there done that" ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| JAZAK5
Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 276 coxsackie,ny
|
2005-01-08 103844
hey you can shop for a Norwegian brand tractor??
OR ask DR. SWVILL
....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | AnnBrush
Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 463 Troy OH
Pics
|
2005-01-09 103871
Sweden and Norway eh? The last time I was in Norway (2 week company sales incentive reward trip) we went to this wooden/log lodge place. The sauna was all the rave and folk were hopping between the sauna and mineral pools (I guess they have a huge number of them - kind of unique to the area). As it was advertized to us (by the company we bought the package from) one of the trip highlights was the huge sauna / mineral pool thingy. Anyway as it turns out the standard protocol for the sauna was to do it naked, this was no sweat (pun not intended) for the local folk who are in general WAY WAY more liberal than we are here in the US. The real kicker for some in our party of approximately 24 people with equal number of men and women (ages 25 - 55) was that the sauna facilities were were not separate for the sexes. Women and men just sat together naked on these huge wooden benches while relaxing and letting their bones soak up the good smell of ecualyptus oil. The men of course got over their modesty soon enough but it took the women a while, there were some attempts to wear swim-siuts but the locals would ridicule anyone who did. At the end of the week all (including me) but 2 of us had settled in to a routine and were enjoying the sauna's. No there was no mischief but it was quite fun to watch everyone especially since we would all be going back to the same office in 2 weeks time (how weird was that?). Anyway what's the point of all this rambling:
1) There might be something good in it for you - especially since the planning is disorganized - you could get your hand in there and make something (interesting)happen.
2) You could tell your wife the story and she might baulk at letting you go because you might have too good of a time if you know what I mean, in which case you might get to stay at home - which would be the point of telling her the story in the first place wouldn't it.
Bottom line - enjoy Scandinavia - even if it means you don't get to go.
Cheers Ann Brush ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa 
Pics
|
2005-01-10 103904
Well, when you are talking about three slightly older women who can't make up their minds, there are some potential solutions.
One such solution is to join up with a pre-planned group. That way the women are restricted to the itinerary of the group. They don't have to think, they don't have to make decisions. They just have to show up and enjoy. It also takes all the hassle out of planning the trip and getting everyone's details right. They usually allow some free time for things that people want to do separate from the group. For those times, you can suggest the women go shopping and you will "investigate" potential activities for the next free time. There is no need for the investigation activity to go beyond the local pub. You can learn quite a bit there if you engage in conversation with the locals.
Also with a pre-planned large group trip, they usually don't last more than a week or two. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa
Pics
|
2005-01-10 103905
BTW, I spent 2 weeks in London last May and had a wonderful time. The flying wasn't bad except for being stuck on a plane for 8 hours. Of course, it was the wife and I. No sisters or anything like that. I would have struggled had her sister been along.
One thing I did on a trip to Alaska with my parents was to take an afternoon for myself. They wanted to one thing and I another. So we agreed to meet at a location at a certain time. We went our separate ways and had an enjoyable afternoon. You can only spend so much time together before it becomes a problem.
Someone suggested an vacation for just you two. I like that idea. Then you can send her along with her sisters and a "girl's only" trip. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | shortmagnum
Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 848 Wisconsin
Pics
|
2005-01-10 103914
It seems obvious that you really don't want to go on an extended trip with your inlaws. I can understand that perfectly.
Note to men in general:
Sometimes we just have to remove our testicles from the wife's purse and do what's best for us. :) ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| Woodie
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 109 Michigan lower
|
2005-01-11 104023
This board is Great reading ---Trains,Planes,""Jewels"" and a tractor or two. This is better that most shows on tv, besides you get to learn a thing or two ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| cthonestguy
Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 267 northeast
|
2005-01-12 104093
In my house I am the one who enforces all the laws and rules. My wife makes the laws and rules but I get to enforce them!
This is clearly a "If I do this I get the new BX23 I've been wanting" trip. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| brokenarrow
Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1288 Wisconsin
|
2005-01-12 104110
Like tonight, my wife told me I am a 40 yr old that she needs to pick up after, she had to wipe a coffee stain/ring from the kitchen counter. I never clean after myself! (she said). well that negates the last 15 times I have wiped the ring from the counter, infact I did not know it was there! So I went to the gas station to get a cup of coffee instead of making one! LOL. I got back and she insisted on me telling her why I left? Finally against my better judgement I told her, " I thought you were unreasonable and to tell you the truth Your frickin crazy if you think you clean after me ALL the time" You guessed it, wrong answer! After 10 more min. of her ripping into me, I let the jack down that my truck was on (was going to check out the back brakes) Pulled the jack out to move it and then she told me that I was a 40 year old slob! With that my craftsmen light went flying thru the air hitting the back wall of the garage. (yes it still works even after breaking the top off and the battery flew off also, Tough light eh?) I jumped in the truck and left to go see the guys on the strike line for awhile. It only took an hour for me to realize I was in need of anouther dog. After my bride settled down she said she was sorry. Big deal man, the damage was done!!! I showed her tonight! WHen I served supper to the kids that I made we only had stuffed shells and garlic bread ( I had all the meat and sauce already made (last weeks stuffed reggatoni's, I made I had made extra meat and sauce) So I purposely only put out the stuffed shells and garlic bread with no extra sauce!!! She really likes my shells with extra sauce! I SHOWED HER EH? Think she will think twice about ripping into me again tomarroo!!!!
Yep I wear the pants here in Wisconsin!
No it dont take two people to give a bit to make the marrige work, it takes only one to give at the right times during disagreements. If I did not like here so damm much I would trade her in for anouther Labrador. Boy she is lucky!!! ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | DRankin
Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 5116 Northern Nevada
Pics
|
2005-01-12 104112
Workplace labor strife is REALLY HARD on relationships.
I did my stint as an E-board member and then as the union VP and my marriage survived, but only by the grace of God.
I am glad I don't have to do that again..... and I know in my guts what you are going through.
Hang in. Don't make any major decisions now. Wait. Be as patient as you can be. You will come through this.
Take care, Mark ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | grassgod
Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 566 ct
Pics
|
2005-01-13 104119
Good advise mark!
Ken - Sorry to hear you had such a bad airport experience. My wife & I took the kids to Disney World in October which is about a 3 hour flight & i'm not sure if we just got lucky because it was an early morning flight or what but it was a breeze boarding. The lines were small & we got threw with no hassles. The only annoyance was we has to remove our shoes to go threw the line inspection. It wouldnt have been so hard if we didnt have an children with us.
Back to the main thread - Sometimes You have to do what you dont want to do in a marriage, Its a give / take relationship. This could be the reason why the divorce rate is some rediculous percentage now something like 57%. Trust me I have watch a few of my friends threw them & I would rather take a long trip with people I'd rather not go with then to create hardship in my marriage. We'll all be here to hand you the kleenex when you get back. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| brokenarrow
Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1288 Wisconsin
|
2005-01-16 104288
Without sounding disrespectful
One person needs to have the final say in matters. If a even number makes decisions then yes there has to be give and take. I joke with my bride all the time (and she hates it). I tell her that in the last 19 years there has only been one disagreement between my deer hunting group. We stay together for 9+ days sometimes and only have had 1 disagreement!!!! I challenge her to take 6 or more of her girl friends and put them under one roof for more than 3 days and come back with the same results! IT WONT HAPPEN!!!! they would be killing each other after the second night or at the very least after the week. Something about putting women in charge andn then giving and taking dont seem to be the best situation. All I have to say is they are damm lucky they are the only ones that can make babies or they would of been exterpalated years ago! Most usless creatures on earth otherwise! And they want equal rights!!! BAh Humbug!!!
ROTFLMAO
I love you sweetie!!!! x0x0x0 ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| grassgod
Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 566 ct
Pics
|
2005-01-16 104298
WOW...You are brave to post that! I suspect you should probably get your boxing gloves out now & waite for a fight as we now have a women on this board. Be prepared! ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | funchy
Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 128 north eastern corner of Maryland
Pics
|
2005-01-19 104530
As one of the few females here, here is my reply--
To the original question: This is very important to her. The answer is compromise. Agree to go 1 week to vist (and make some polite reason you can't leave town more than a week) BUT at the same time you make those reservations, you're also booking a 2nd trip, your choice where. Go to one of those places in the USA you'd like to see. You do her (disorganized family) thing 1 week, she goes with you 1 week somewhere fun, everyone is happy.
brokenarrow: might as well pull out the divorce papers now if this is how you see your wife and how you treat her. No she shouldn't nag.. but then again when people nag it's usually because asking politely or patiently waiting have already failed. You intentionally do little things to piss her off, you joke about getting rid of her, and you wonder why your homelife isn't all roses and sunshine. Relationships require BOTH people's participation. Learn that now and your life will be so much easier.
....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| brokenarrow
Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1288 Wisconsin
|
2005-01-20 104581
The part about joking with her has nothing to do with marrige. The last part of my post was all in fun and anyone who knows me would take it that way.
Actually funchy, I have been the one too change 100%.
If not she would of left me years ago. For 19 year I have done ALL the cooking in the house along with cleaning up afterwards (whether it is good enough for her or not (the cleaning) is anouther matter)
I dont drink or go out with my friends, untill this strike I am on I have NEVER not worked atleast 40 hours a week, I do the little things to make her life easier. For the lat 11 years anyway. She has the problem of not forgetting the first 9 when I used to go out with the guys (heY I was 20 when I got married and she was 25) I was imature and did not know any better. Nope, a bit of humor in life is good. She wont find much better than me out there for she has spent 20 years molding me into what she expects in a man. ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
 | kyvette
Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 194 Central Kentucky
Pics
|
2005-01-21 104585
My wife and I both like to travel and the majority of our trips have been in the USA and the Caribbean. A few years ago our friends wanted to take a cruise to Alaska, the wife didn't want to go, she likes to cruise. Her comment, it will be cold.
I promised her a trip to Hawaii, which I had no desire to go. We did both trips and she liked Alaska and I liked Hawaii. We plan to return to both places.
We agree together on trips, unless it's a company paid trip, and she just tags along. I tend to make all of the arrangements and allow time for what she wants to do, shopping.
We have two other couples we travel with and most of the time we split up during the day and get back together for dinner.
As someone else said, you need to compromise. We have been married for 36 years. If you cheerfully agree to go on the trip, then she will probably agree to a shorter time.
Good luck. Dave ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add PhotoDisagreement with Wife
| LAXCummins
Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4 La Crosse, WI
|
2005-01-21 104624
Discussion, followed by negotiation and compromise might be the path to take.
Make sure she understands why your reasoning - then listen to hers. Make sure that you understand why she thinks it's important.
Then move on to negotiation, followed by compromise, followed by you going on a trip.
Good luck! ....
Reply to |
Quote Reply |
Add Photo
Go Top
Share This