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Just For Fun Off Topic

The Tractorpoint Joke Thread

2018-02-13 00:00:00 197508  AndyDaniels
Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

...just five more minutes.
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-13 00:00:00 197509  AndyDaniels
This new thesaurus I bought is the worst..

Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-13 00:00:00 197510  AndyDaniels
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?" ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-14 00:00:00 197511  minimac | 1 Pix
Thanks Andy

Here are two from now gone Allen and Rossi.


Allen: My wifes a twin
Rossi: How do you tell them apart?
Allen: Her brothers taller

Allen: I do everything my wife tells me.
Rossi: You mean if she told you to jump
off the roof of this hotel you would?
Allen: Not again. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-20 00:00:00 197527  Murf | 22 Pix
A famous dog trainer is being interviewed by a reporter, the reporter is amazed at the abilities of the dog

The reporter asks is there ANYTHING you cannot teach this dog to do?

The trainer replies Dance. It seems he has 2 left feet. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-21 00:00:00 197529  AndyDaniels
Hahaha! Just keep 'em coming, fellas!

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

"P"

Without it, they'd be irate. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-21 00:00:00 197530  AndyDaniels
My friend set me up on a date. He told me she constantly make "Shrek" references. I was pretty sceptical..

But then I saw her face.. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-21 00:00:00 197531  AndyDaniels
Metallica and Nonmetallica should come together..

To form an ionic band. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-21 00:00:00 197537  yocsr1 | 7 Pix
If you buy half a chicken does that mean your secretly sharing a meal with someone else? ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-25 00:00:00 197540  Woodie
I started the rum diet, works great, lost three days already. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-02-25 00:00:00 197541  Woodie
Know Whats a bad day for a dung beetle?

....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-09 00:00:00 197561  AndyDaniels
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodie | view 197541
Know Whats a bad day for a dung beetle?


What would that be, Woodie? :) ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-09 00:00:00 197562  AndyDaniels
Why don't vegans take risks?

Because their life could be at steak. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-09 00:00:00 197563  AndyDaniels
What do you call a Mexican that is only 46?

Paragraph. He is too short to be an essay. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-09 00:00:00 197564  Woodie
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyDaniels | view 197561
What would that be, Woodie? :) ...

"No s***" ;-) ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-11 00:00:00 197571  DennisCTB | 29 Pix
Billboard in front of church:

If You Are Waiting For A Sign That You Ought To Be Going To Church!
This Is It.
....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-11 00:00:00 197574  Murf | 22 Pix
An old fella goes to the doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks about all the usual potential issues and gets favourable answers to all of them. In winding up the visit the doctor asks the old codger if he’s having any issues.

He replies “Yes, I have a little problem with my bowel movements.”

“Oh, too loose or constipation?” asks the doctor.

“Neither, just right, and at almost exactly 8am every morning.” he replies.

“So then what’s the problem? People half your age would kill to be that regular.” the doctor asks.

“I rarely wake up before 9am.” he replies. ....
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The Tractorpoint Joke Thread
2018-03-11 00:00:00 197575  Woodie
Just heard playing Euchre has been banned... reason...can't call trump anymore.
---------
Just passing them on as i hear'em ....
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