Go BottomSo my Sis-in-law hates me and will be visiting
 | Iowafun
Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 955 Central Iowa 
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2005-08-19 115097
Not that it bothers me any. She just sits downstairs watching my TV and satelite from my couch. No thank you's, no offers of help, just bitching if anyone wakes her up before 1 pm. She was upset the last visit because no one went out the car to get her for cake. She was out in the car because her cell-phone battery had died and an AC outlet charger wasn't brought along. Oh yeah, she chewed the crap out of her father for not bringing that cell phone charger along. Never mind the cell phone was far more important to her than anyone else. If it was so important, why didn't she assume responsibility and bring the charger?
I couldn't go get her for cake because I would have told her off. Besides, I made the cake and if being on the cell phone was more important than family time, who am I to take her away from what is most important to her?
Should be fun this weekend. It's the baby's baptism and the sis-in-law is really pissed off that she isn't the godmother. Did I mention she still lives at home? Graduated from college over a year ago? Works maybe 5 hours per week? Doesn't pay any bills?
If I didn't have other company coming this weekend, I'd probably spend most of my time out in my shop or find some excuse to be on the tractor...
I am so not looking forward to this. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep my mouth shut?
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 | kwschumm
Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5764 NW Oregon 
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2005-08-19 115104
I've got an idea of what you're going through. We used to go to Phoenix every other year for Christmas to visit the relatives. My in-laws are rabid left wing hippie wanna-live-in-a-commune whack jobs and a visit there is pure hell. Due to their health issues now we have to go there every year. This year I'm taking ear plugs. ....
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 | metastable
Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 78 North Plains, OR 
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2005-08-19 115106
Isn't there a local kennel where you can board her? ;) ....
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 | Art White
Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 6898 Waterville New York
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2005-08-19 115114
Hopefully in every family there is the good and the bad as in most families. I try to find the good part and to hell with the rest! Otherwise after dinner I find a nice chair infront of the TV and Zone them out. It's amazing what we have to go thru to keep the family alive when some are living dead tissues. ....
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 | DRankin
Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 5116 Northern Nevada
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2005-08-20 115146
She is only part of the problem. The bigger issue is the people who let her get away with it. Such behaviors never get better on their own. They only get worse with age.
The parents in this case need to invite her out of their house and you must lay the law down that she can only visit if she can act in a rational manner, otherwise she will find herself on the doorstep with her things.
If your wife refuses to draw the line in her own house, then you can arrange to stay somewhere else during the visit. Take the kids with you. Let the ones who deserve her the most deal with her behavior.
My favorite description of police work is: Cops go to places where there are people who have NO internal controls and apply external controls to them. Most everything carried on a policeman's belt is some sort of external control device.
The miscreants get to choose how much external control they will need. The level of force spans a huge range: from forceful words to shooting.
If it helps, three of my six siblings are not allowed over my threshold and another is working hard to achieve that status. If he can't keep a civil tongue in his head, he will be dis-invited too. ....
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 | Murf
Join Date: Dec 1999 Posts: 7249 Toronto Area, Ontario, Canada
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2005-08-22 115233
If you decide to bail, don't forget to 'modify' your statelite system before you leave.
Usually a simple twist of the dish about 10 degrees either way works.
A little change in the parental controls works well also, say lock it down so nothing more than children's programming is allowed.
People who are bored usually don't stay as long.
Best of luck. ....
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| DRankin
Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 5116 Northern Nevada
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2005-08-22 115237
Murf, you have a clever and devious mind. ....
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| Murf
Join Date: Dec 1999 Posts: 7249 Toronto Area, Ontario, Canada
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2005-08-22 115240
I also have;
2 (older) sisters,
5 brothers-in-law,
9 sisters-in-law,
1 ex-sister-in-law.
Yes, there IS a co-relation between the above, and the clever, devious mind.
The other thing that seems to work well in my house also is that the two dogs (Jack Russel Terriers, Parson Russel actually) that live in the house with us, 'Deputy Dog' and 'The life of Rylie', both seem to have associated certian completely inoccuos words with actions which some guest seem to find questionable, maybe even objectionable......
The female, Rylie, will develop an irresistable notion to, errr, ummm, mate, with the nearest ankle at the mere mention of the word "rabbit", and will become a rather selfish (and noisey about it) with her toys at the mention of the word "spoiled".
The male, Jackson, aka Deputy Dog, amongst other little tricks, gets downright territorial at the mention of the word "pillows", such as when showing a 'guest' to their room, and you ask "Do you have enough pillows?", suddenly the dog has a very comfy bed for the night, and the 'guest' gets the (lumpy) futon.
A cleverly introduced word, at just the right point in a conversation, can dramatically shorten a visit.
Best of luck. ....
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 | AnnBrush
Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 463 Troy OH
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2005-08-22 115265
Oh my gosh, the water heater is on the fritz - and so on. ....
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 | BillMullens
Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 649 Central West Virginia 
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2005-08-23 115274
Your description of your sister-in-law sounds like some of the college-age people I know. Wait...it sounds like ALL of the college age people I know. They don't realize that their parents had to work for 25 years to have the lifestyle that they have; the kids want it now, by golly, no waiting. But they don't want to work for it. I know in some cases it is drugs that kills their ambition.
I feel for you buddy. I guess we all have somebody in our extended family like that.
Good luck,
Bill ....
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