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 08-12-2003, 08:33 Post: 61625
WillieH



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 Being Hung

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair,
drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn on my kubota.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged
at this that she came over and shouted at me,
"You should be hung."

I took a drink from my can of Budweiser,
wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my
darkened Ray Ban Sunglasses and stared directly
at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied,

"I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

- Willie H.






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 08-12-2003, 08:46 Post: 61628
plots1

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Good reply Willy, you should of offered her a bud.






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 08-12-2003, 08:56 Post: 61631
Misenplace

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Forget the nosy neighbor, you should have offered me a bud and then we could have mooned the neighbor ! Laughing out loud. And I thought they were nosy here, err well they are but thats another story !






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 08-12-2003, 09:40 Post: 61644
Murf

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 Being Hung

I had a similar episode with the mother-in-law of my neighbour (he calls her his 'outlaw' not in-law, now I know why) this spring.

She had some smart remark about my wife being in the garden and me being in the hammock (a big comfy Mayan type, but I digress) reading.

I less than politely informed her that I was recovering from a major heart attack, but was at least financially still supporting the household, and then asked why it was that with all her money (she sold her house last year and 'invested' the money) she was free-loading on her kids generosity.

I then threw her own words back at her "Why don't you pull your own weight?" but then added in "I'll even loan you my truck to help get that big backside started."

She realized the wisdom of my words and beat a hasty retreat, the neighbour came over for a chin-wag later and thanked me profusely for what ever 'nasty things' I had said to the old bird, she was packing.....

Best of luck.






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 08-12-2003, 21:34 Post: 61700
jeff r



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 Being Hung

Willie,

I laughed for 5 minutes on that reply. You and I have the same sense of humor. I figure it keeps those womens libbers in line. She obviously offended you deeply.

Jeffr






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 08-12-2003, 22:52 Post: 61708
WillieH



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Jeffr -
Actually, the womens-libbers don't bother me in the least...what gets my goat or at least used to, was I had been raised to hold a door, or open a door for any woman approaching. When you do this act of courtesy, and they promptly rip the door handle from your grasp, and barge right on past, and scoff at you in the process, you don't get mad, rather you realize what a nice sound the same door makes as it hits them in the keishker as it closes!

Where would we be without neighbors?!

- Willie H.






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 08-12-2003, 23:04 Post: 61709
plots1

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you would be deep in the woods somewhere.






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 08-12-2003, 23:26 Post: 61711
WillieH



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plots1 -

Absolutely correct !

- Willie H.






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 08-13-2003, 06:03 Post: 61715
Misenplace

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Where would we be without neighbors ? HEAVEN !






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Discussion Boards > Active Subjects > Messages as Posted > Just For Fun Off Topic Forum

Thread 61625 Filter by Poster:
jeff r 1 | Misenplace 2 | Murf 1 | plots1 2 | WillieH 3 |




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